Letters
by Casteline
Summary: Jess receives a letter for Lorelai explaining what a happened to Rory. Mild Rory/Jess. Part One of eight.


I don't own.

_Sorry if it's a little depressing : (_

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**076. Letters**

There had been a box on the kitchen counter when he'd arrived home. Addressed to him. He carefully detached the envelope from the lid and slid his nail under the flap.

The handwriting inside was familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. He flips to the last page of the rather extensive letter and sees a familiar name. _Lorelai Gilmore._ What a woman.

_**Jess,**_

_**I suppose it's quite a shock to be hearing from me, of all people. You never were my favorite person, and I wouldn't be surprised to hear that I wasn't yours.**_

_**So I suppose you must be wondering what this is all about. I know I would be.**_

_**So here it is.**_

_**I don't know when the last time you heard from Rory was, but my understanding is that it's been a while. Which means you haven't heard yet.**_

_**Six months ago, she was diagnosed with cancer.**_

He drops the letter at this point. IT takes him several minutes to regain control of his basic functions (such as breathing).

_**That probably shocked the shit out of you, didn't it? Believe me, I know how you feel.**_

_**She refuses to tell any of us how much time she has left, but I'm guessing she's near the end. The book I've sent you is one she's been working on for at least ten years, maybe longer, I don't know. But she spent the last few weeks rushing to finish is.**_

_**The moment she finished it, she gave it to me. She said to do what I wanted with it, read it, throw it in the back of a closet somewhere. But she made me promise that some day I would make sure it found its way into your hands.**_

_**After I swore to her that I would get it to you, she left. She didn't even say goodbye. Just left a note sitting on the coffee pot. She was leaving, and she wasn't going to come back. She said that she didn't want us to see her in the end; that she loved us, but that this was something she had to deal with on her own.**_

_**That was over a month ago.**_

_**I do apologize for the state of her book. I was so angry and I guess I took it out on the poor thing. I hope it forgives me.**_

_**Part of me thinks I shouldn't have given it to you. But it's what Rory wanted. Consider it her dying wish. And besides, I couldn't bring myself to actually read it. I tried, more than a few times. But every time I would start, I'd have to stop. I can't even look at it anymore.**_

_**She wanted me to tell you that it's yours now. To do with what ever you please. Read it, chuck it, publish it. She doesn't care. She just wanted you to have it.**_

_**As for me, don't think that my giving it to you is entirely selfless. Part of me hopes that you will go out and find her. I believe you could. Maybe you could convince her to come home, just a little while longer. Just to say goodbye.**_

_**And, I guess, even if you can't convince her to, I know you'll find her, if you try. And you deserve the chance to say goodbye.**_

_**Lane says I'm being too hopeful. That she's already lying dead somewhere and there is no chance of you finding her. Not alive anyway.**_

_**But I would know. I know I would know. She's my daughter. If she was dead, I would know. I would feel it. And something tells me you would too.**_

_**I just have one request. If you do go looking for her, and if you find her, please tell her one thing for me. I have accepted the fact that she won't be coming home. She is 34 and just as stubborn as ever. Just please tell her that I love her, that we all love her.**_

_**Good luck,**_

_**Lorelai Gilmore**_

Jess tore the package open, almost as though there had been nothing keeping it closed in the first place. Inside was a book. Or the remains of a book. It had been torn to shreds, then pieced back together again.

The cover was simple brown with red foil lettering. _Autobiography, by Rory Gilmore._

He smiled at the thought. It was so simple, so elegant, so _Rory_.

Upon opening the book, he is fairly certain the pages were not put back in the appropriate order, but there were no numbers to tell him otherwise. Leave it to Rory to not number the pages of her book. And leave it to Lorelai to get all the pages mixed up.

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_Next up is Autobiography. Go read it. Then review._

_I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy ChrismaChanuKwanzakah or whatever it is you celebrate. If you don't celebrate anything, Happy Thursday._

_All I want for christmas is a million reviews (hint hint)._


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